vh1's top 100 songs of the 90s, dissected.

100. Gerardo "Rico Suave" - disregard the fact that this guy looked like the sleaziest, scummiest, pop culture date rapist that history has ever seen. i know it's hard, but give it a shot. ok, now that you've (hopefully) done that... this song is catchy as fuck. you know the chorus, you know you do.

99. Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott "The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)" - i never really dug the inflated-suit Mega Man looking shit Missy wore in her videos, but whatever. this song is fucking awesome, and she's from virginia.

98. EMF"Unbelievable" - synonymous with one hit wonder, EMF nailed it with this song. this shit was EVERYWHERE when it came out. i'm pretty sure this is still in regular rotation at sporting events and roller rinks.

97. Prince & The New Power Generation "Gett Off" - seriously, this is one of the worst Prince songs ever. that's all.

96. Nelson "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" - look, i'm sorry, but i can't get past how fake these two guys looked. unfortunately for them, they kind of came in at the very end of the hair metal era, but somehow they still managed to sell a shitload of records, even though Steelheart (another end-of-the-era band) didn't and they're so much better.

95. Montell Jordan "This is How We Do It" - if you don't like this song, you're an idiot. this is a fucking PERFECT party song. i'm honestly surprised it wasn't higher on the list, as opposed to...

94. Fastball "The Way" - which is a textbook example of a boring, generic rock song.

93. Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories "Stay" - maybe i'm biased, but i love Lisa Loeb. this is an awesome song, and really should have been higher on the list in my opinion. there's just this amazing sense of heartbreak in the song, or at least that's how it's always felt to me.

92. Public Enemy "911 Is A Joke" - i've always kind of had mixed feelings about this song. don't get me wrong, it's a great song, but i've always had a hard time taking Public Enemy too seriously because of Flavor Flav. that said, i think there's far better Public Enemy songs.

91. Sarah McLachlan "Building a Mystery" - this is one of the few "take it or leave it" songs on the list, in my opinion. i understand why it's on the list, and i like it, but i wouldn't have noticed at all if it wasn't.

90. New Radicals "You Get What You Give" - i always felt like this song has been sort of overlooked, it's really a damn good pop song. there's a good message, and it's catchy as hell.

89. Liz Phair "Never Said" - ok, now i'm a Liz Phair fan (well, as much as i hate people who say this, i like the earlier stuff), and i'm really surprised that this was on the list, especially higher than Lisa Loeb. i don't ever remember hearing this song during the 90s at all, except on my home stereo. and i mean, if they're going to pick random Liz Phair songs to throw on the list, there's definitely better songs.

88. Duncan Sheik "Barely Breathing" - here's a fact for you: Duncan Sheik is FUCKING GREAT. seriously. this dude has never written a bad song, and it's a shame he's not more popular. this is such an awesome song, and would be waaayyy higher on my personal list. come to think of it, i might have to do a personal list as a follow up to this.

87. Billy Ray Cyrus "Achy Breaky Heart" - fuck this guy, fuck this song, and fuck his daughter. the end.

86. The Cranberries "Linger" - Dolores O'Riordan has one of the best voices in modern music, if you ask me. this song, this album, this band... fucking great. there were a few turds here and there, but all said, The Cranberries were a great band, and this song made people stop and go "holy shit, The Cranberries are a great band".

85. Cypress Hill "Insane In The Brain" - one of the most annoying songs of the 90s, hands down. Cypress Hill has some great songs, but fuck, this was NOT one of them.

84. Snow "Informer" - bit of trivia for you: at one point in time, i knew every word to this song. i wish i still did. what a weird burst onto the music scene this was, a white guy from Canada doing pseudo-dancehall reggae/rap. he definitely stood out and got his 15 minutes.

83. The Breeders "Cannonball" - indie darlings get a big radio/MTV hit. indie darlings are popular for about 6 months. indie darlings fade into obscurity.

82. Geto Boys "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" - "this year, halloween fell on a weekend"... this marks the beginning of one of my favorite verses in the history of hip hop. this song is a fucking classic, and should be a lot higher on the list. but then again, this is VH1 we're talking about.

81. Paula Cole "I Don't Want to Wait" - this song was definitely all over the place when it came out, like a swarm of fucking mosquitos sucking the life out of anything good in music.

80. Right Said Fred "I'm Too Sexy" - yeah, you hate this song. think about how many times you've referenced it, though. that's right, it's in your brain forever.

79. Meredith Brooks "Bitch" - see my analysis of the Paula Cole song at 81.

78. Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" - i hate Lenny Kravitz, as a human being. now that i've got that out of the way, the guy writes some really good, really catchy rock music. i was definitely into this song, at least until i saw what a douchebag he is.

77. Ice Cube "It Was a Good Day" - this is another one of those songs that i think, if this list wasn't on vh1, would (should )have been higher up. it's just such an awesome, mellowed out hip hop track. a huge departure from the NWA days, but every bit as good.

76. Blues Traveler "Run-Around" - i applaud blues traveler for trying to bring a more blues influenced rock sound to the mainstream, i really do. but man, was this song annoying.

75. Kris Kross "Jump" - EVERYONE remembers these guys, everyone remembers this song. you know you've made your mark on pop culture when you spawn an entire army of shitheads wearing their clothing backwards.

74. Cher "Believe" - remember when Cher was awesome? me neither.

73. Marcy Playground "Sex and Candy" - another horribly generic, rock radio anthem. man, the late 90s were a bad time for rock music.

72. Barenaked Ladies "One Week" - i'll admit this, Barenaked Ladies have some really great songs. i remember when a friend of mine who was from Canada turned me on to them when I was in 7th grade, he gave me a tape of "Gordon", and a VHS tape of some one hour special/documentary thing that was on tv in Canada about them called "On Gordon Pond". this song was not on "Gordon", and is not a great song. at all.

71. Arrested Development "Tennessee" - i won't say this was the first "conscious" hip hop song to make it big, but it was definitely one of the biggest. Arrested Development, as a whole, are horribly overlooked. this was such a positive song, it's hard to believe it came out right around the same time as Dr. Dre's first record.

70. Jamiroquai "Virtual Insanity" - seriously, what was this guy's deal? regardless of his tendency to wear strange furry hats, this was a damn good party song.

69. Korn "Freak on a Leash" - i'll give korn a lot of credit for helping bring heavy music back to popular culture. granted, i don't like them, but they played a big part in that. that said, i don't know why this song was chosen, since i think they've got better songs.

68. Will Smith "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" - this is all you need to know: no Will Smith song will EVER be as good as "Summertime", which is suspiciously absent from this list. makes you wonder if Will is trying to forget about the Fresh Prince days, and focus more on making tv shows about Courage Crew.

67. Deee-Lite "Groove Is In The Heart" - another really, really fucking good party song. the beat for this song is awesome.

66. Edwin McCain "I'll Be" - man, seriously, this is one of the great love songs of all time. "i'll be the greatest fan of your life"?! what a fucking awesome line.

65. Digital Underground "The Humpty Dance" - i'm dead serious here: if you don't like this song, put your head in an oven.

64. The Presidents of the United States of America "Peaches" - something about these guys never really sat well with me, and i'm not sure what it is. this is a good song, definitely super catchy, and they did a good job of writing good rock songs. i just could never really get into them.

63. The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Mase & Puff Daddy "Mo Money Mo Problems" - you know what would have made this song a lot better? get rid of puff and mase. other than those two clowns in their shiny fucking suits, this shit is a classic.

62. Live "I Alone" - i've got the same problem with Live that i do with The Presidents of the United States of America - i just can't get into them. this song honestly annoys the fuck out of me.

61. Sheryl Crow "All I Wanna Do" - now this is a damn good song. perfectly crafted to hit it big on rock radio, Sheryl Crow set the bar pretty high for herself. it was either continue to write good rock/pop songs, or a one way ticket to one hit wonder.

60. Bell Biv DeVoe "Poison" - i really can't say enough how much i love this song. too bad that whole "east coast family" thing never really took off...

59. Weezer "Buddy Holly" - as much as i dislike weezer now, i can't deny how good this song (and this album in general) is. there are songs on the record that i like a lot more, but those songs weren't singles.

58. Sophie B. Hawkins "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" - man, the amount of soul poured into this song is incredible. this is another one of those songs that just gets stuck in your head automatically after you hear it.

57. Jay-Z featuring Amil and Ja Rule "Can I Get A..." - ok, so i'm going to be a bit biased here again... anything with Ja Rule automatically fails in my book. end of story.

56. L.L. Cool J "Mama Said Knock You Out" - holy shit. LL killed it with this track. i remember when this came out, thinking it was the hardest shit i had ever heard. just that one line "i will destroooyyy"... man, so good. i had this cassette back when it came out, but i was at a hotel with my mom one time, and while we were out, the cleaning people stole it, along with my Another Bad Creation tape. jerks.

55. Fiona Apple "Criminal" - i definitely like "Shadowboxer" better, but holy fucking hell is this a sexy song. you know the scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit where Jessica starts singing, and all the guys have to loosen their collars and shit? yeah, that's this song.

54. Joan Osborne "One of Us" - this is another one of those songs that annoys the hell out of me, but it's definitely a bit more thought provoking than most of the other ones. i mean really, what if god was one of us?

53. Naughty by Nature "O.P.P." - song hits radio/tv, song becomes instant party anthem for the rest of time. who would have thought that a song about cheating and homewrecking would be so fucking good?

52. Sugar Ray "Fly" - this is really hard for me to say, since i hate this band so much... this is a damn catchy song. they did a good job of writing a track that would drill into your brain and lay eggs there, making sure you never forget it.

51. Tupac (featuring Dr. Dre and Roger Troutman) "California Love" - remember what i said about the opening line of Bushwick Bill's verse in Geto Boy's "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" being one of my favorite beginnings of a verse? how about this one - "out on bail, fresh out of jail, california dreamin'"... Tupac kills it on this track, hands down.

50. Alice in Chains "Man in the Box" - so there we are, in the midst of the "grunge" movement, which is inherrently darker than what was popular just a few months earlier. but still, there was nothing really legitimatley "dark" about the music, it was just heavier and dirtier. then along came this song. Alice in Chains succeeded in writing one of the darkest songs in "popular" music, and it's reeeeeeally fucking good.

49. Jewel "Who Will Save Your Soul" - i really wish Jewel didn't start getting super poppy, because this song is really, really good. this whole album is really good. and somehow, it just kind of went downhill from there.

48. Matchbox Twenty "3 AM" - another gem in the crown of generic rock radio. *yawn*

47. Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch "Good Vibrations" - i remember at one point, shortly after the whole "Marky Mark" thing dropped off, hearing about Mark Wahlberg getting asked about this, and he evidently got pissed. whatever, this was an awesome track. at least he didn't go the Will Smith route and start recording watered down versions of what used to be good when he started acting....

46. Shania Twain "You're Still the One" - i really, really hate this song. seriously.

45. Hootie & the Blowfish "Only Wanna Be With You" - this is like a fucking anthem for every mid-90s college kid that wore hemp necklaces. you know, the ones that didn't drop out to follow Phish on tour, but the ones that went on to become real estate agents.

44. The Fugees "Killing Me Softly With His Song" - this track was fucking HUGE when it hit, not like you don't know that. it's damn catchy, and made you really forget how over-rated The Fugees really were.

43. En Vogue "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" - ok, as far as modern, poppy-r&b songs go, this is seriously one of the best. the part where it just goes a capella... that shit is awesome. the voices on these girls were incredible, but boy did i get sick of hearing this song quoted from girls.

42. Collective Soul "Shine" - i really didn't know what to make of Collective Soul, and i still don't. they always just kind of struck me as like, a bar band (a pretty good one, but still) that just happened to be in the right place at the right time. i do love the riff in this song though.

41. Spin Doctors "Two Princes" - jesus christ, what an annoying fucking song. i recently saw something where they were talking about the story behind the song (which i forget), and that made it a bit more tolerable, but still...

40. Color Me Badd "I Wanna Sex You Up" - ok seriously, you've got a "greatest songs of the 90s" list, and you throw this piece of shit on here (what the fuck does "sex you up" even mean?!), but there isn't a single Boyz II Men song on the whole fucking list. ridiculous.

39. Goo Goo Dolls "Iris" - say what you will, this song could very easily be one of my favorites to come out of the (mainstream) 90s. just a seriously beautiful love song, and the movie tie-in (City of Angels) makes it hit a little harder.

38. Christina Aguilera "Genie In A Bottle" - dear world, here's the only one of those mid to late 90s pop princesses that could actually sing. i know, it's hard to believe that you might want to market someone based on talent and not just looks (whatever, she's got both), but you might want to try it. this song absolutely blows away any track that Britney Spears has ever recorded, and it's a fucking shame that it's not higher on the list.

37. Green Day "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" - when i first heard Green Day, i would have laughed in your face had you told me they would end up writing what would basically become a high school prom slow dance staple. but hey, they did it. more power to 'em. luckily for anyone that's not in high school, it's still a pretty damn good song.

36. C+C Music Factory "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" - another super catchy, super irritating, 1990s party jam. i think i got this cassette for my birthday or Christmas or something, and ended up recording Minor Threat and the Misfits over it or something like that.

35. Oasis "Wonderwall" - every now and then, i stumble back upon songs and bands that i despised when they came out, and i realize that they're actually really good. case in point, Oasis, and this song in particular. now, i'm still not a huge fan, and i'm not too terribly familiar with any of their non-single tracks, but of the singles, this one definitely shines.

34. Third Eye Blind "Semi-Charmed Life" - what kind of warped minds come up with an idea to write a super catchy, bound-for-radio-glory track about crystal meth?! pretty brilliant, really. too bad the song sucks.

33. Spice Girls "Wannabe" - ok, let me be up front here. the whole Spice Girls "girl power" thing was utter horse shit. wait! hear me out before you berate me for being a misogynist! by the time this song came out, and silly little pre-teeny boppers were running around yelling "girl power!", i had long since been into bands like Bikini Kill, bands that talked about "girl power" without dressing like whores. so when this shit came out, all i could do was laugh. there's nothing empowering about being nothing more than eye candy, and shitty eye candy at that.

32. BLACKstreet "No Diggity" - there was this really brief period where smooth r&b-ish singers were laying down vocals over smooth west coast beats (courtesy of Dr. Dre), and damn if it wasn't great. this song was the shit when it came out. it was, like so many other tracks on this list, destined to be a party favorite for years. unlike a lot of those other tracks though (*cough*c&cmusicfactory*cough*), this one stood the test of time and is still a great track.

31. Radiohead "Creep" - i don't really know what i was expecting after buying this album. i bought it entirely because of "Creep", and imagine my surprise when the rest of the album didn't really have the same heavy parts that this song did. it's kind of funny to listen to this song now, and see just how much Radiohead has progressed as a band. that's not to say this song isn't good, because it really is, but man... what a difference time makes.

30. *NSYNC "Tearin' Up My Heart" - it's funny, i always thought groups like these (the "boy bands") were like a poor photocopy of New Kids on the Block, and they really were. they all basically had the same 5 stereotypical guys in the band (you know, the "pretty boy", the "tough guy", etc.), and they all put out the same god-awful shit. but hey, thanks to the continued success of the boy band mold, the road has been paved for that NKOTB reunion so all of those hipster girls can re-awaken how shallow they really are by swooning over middle-aged men singing songs they wrote as teenagers, about teenage girls. creeeeepy.

29. Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby" - if you try to tell me you don't know at least a few of the words to this song, i will karate chop your throat. this song was completely unescapable, and seriously, like him or not, the dude could fucking dance. personally, i still love this song. maybe it's just nostalgia, but man, every now and then, i just need to blast this shit.

28. Ricky Martin "Livin' la Vida Loca" - i'll give this guy credit, as much as i don't like him, he basically brought an entirely new music scene out with him. well, at least it was "new" to most of the US. and somehow, it also inspired a lot of white kids to pretend they were hispanic and get "mi vida loca" tattoos.

27. Counting Crows "Mr. Jones" - i think mainly because this song was (and still is, really) beaten into the ground by radio stations everywhere, "Mr. Jones" stands as the only Counting Crows song that I don't like. it's still a pretty good song, but "pretty good" only goes so far when you've heard a song thousands of times.

26. Eminem "My Name Is" - i don't really like Eminem, and the stuff that i do like is his more serious stuff, but what a way to burst on to the music scene. he was definitely doing something way different that anything else that was out at the time, so i'll give him credit for that. it's just a shame that more recognition isn't given to someone like Eyedea, who absolutely killed Eminem in a freestyle battle, and is actually worth listening to.

25. Soundgarden "Black Hole Sun" - unlike "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows, this is one of those songs that is still beaten into the ground by radio stations that i never liked. and i liked Soundgarden when this album came out. hell, i still think "Badmotorfinger" is a great record. things just... went downhill after that album.

24. House of Pain "Jump Around" - this track has always been kinda bittersweet for me. i'm glad it gets recognition, because it definitely deserves it, but it's sort of like "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)" in that it was (unfortunately) latched on to by douchebags and frat boys (i know, that's redundant) all over the country. but it definitely laid the groundwork for these dudes to advance, and they've steadily shown how talented they really are.

23. Salt-N-Pepa with En Vogue "Whatta Man" - this, to me, is a piss-poor excuse for a Salt-N-Pepa song. not achieving any success releasing good hip hop records? take off most of your clothes and act like whores!

22. Beck "Loser" - again, Beck was someone that came out doing something really different,
but i really hated it. still do, actually. i can honestly say i've never heard a single Beck song that i like. does that mean he sucks? no, not at all. the guy is definitely really, really talented, and will obviously sell far more hit records than i ever will. i just can't get into him.

21. Celine Dion "My Heart Will Go On" - in all honesty, this song alone is the reason i put off seeing "Titanic" for so long. the words and emotion contained within the song are awesome, but damn i wish someone else was singing it. insert New Found Glory cover version here.

20. Hanson "MMMBop" - i don't really know what sort of phenomenon prompted the signing of these 3 brothers, but i reeeeeally wish it had never happened. this seriously seems to me like it's much more suited for a TV show "band", ala the Partridge Family. i also don't think any other one hit wonder has obtained such a rabid following.

19. Beastie Boys "Sabotage" - it's hard for me to see a lot of the songs on this list and not go "oh man, they had way better songs than this out in the 90s!", but i gotta work with what VH1 decided on. that said... Beastie Boys had way better songs than this out in the 90s. shit, they had better tracks from just this record. but whatever, i still like this song a lot, and it beat listening to a lot of the other shit that was out then. and as cliche as it seems to say this, i really do love the video.

18. Metallica "Enter Sandman" - man, if Metallica had just stopped with this album, they would have left a largelt unblemished legacy. but noooo... they had to keep getting worse and worse. at any rate, this song, to me, was a welcome addition to radio/video airplay. the riff in this song is so fucking heavy, and it's such an evil song.

17. Destiny's Child "Say My Name" - i think my problem with a lot of this list is that i was musically aware for the entire decade, so it seemed to me that Destiny's Child was a re-hashed En Vogue. i won't deny the talent though, and i won't deny how catchy this song is.

16. MC Hammer "U Can't Touch This" - oh come on, you love this song, you know you do. this shit makes me wish i still had a Starter jacket. the Rick James-sampled beat is so good, it's hard to not at least nod your head.

15. Red Hot Chili Peppers "Under the Bridge" - god damnit, i hate this song so much. it's not moving, it's not thoughtful, it's fucking crap. the end.

14. Mariah Carey "Vision of Love" - holy shit, did you hear the voice that came out of that girl?! this was long before Mariah went bat-shit crazy, and she basically dethroned Whitney Houston with this one song. it was a good time.

13. Dr. Dre (featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg) "Nuthin' but a "G" Thang" - despite not really being his first appearance on a track, this was basically the song that said "hey world, meet Snoop". and what a great song to come out on. this entire album, start to finish, is a fucking classic.

12. Alanis Morissette "You Oughta Know" - there are two ways to view this song, and two separate reactions. the first way, is that it's an angry song about a random ex, and it's just... i dunno... whiny, and bitchy, and stupid. the second way to view it is that it's an angry song about Dave Coulier, and it's AWESOME. fuck you, uncle Joey.

11. Pearl Jam "Jeremy" - while more intelligent and more musically talented than their "Seattle grunge" peers, Pearl Jam jsut never really wrote music that i could get into. i give them a lot of credit for sticking around, and a lot of credit for standing up for issues that they believe in. i just wish i could give them credit for writing songs that i enjoy.

10. Sinéad O'Connor "Nothing Compares 2 U" - i really can't begin to describe how good this song is. it's just soooo powerful, but not in a loud kind of way. just this small, quiet girl from Ireland with an amazing voice baring her soul completely, for the entire world. an amazing song.

09. R.E.M. "Losing My Religion" - this song falls into the same category as "Wonderwall"... it took me years to realize how good it really is, and to fully appreciate what a good band R.E.M. is.

08. TLC"Waterfalls" - this another song that's kind of like "Nothing Compares 2 U", just a incredibly powerful, emotional song. and it had a really good beat.

07. Britney Spears "...Baby One More Time" - words can't express how much i hate this song. i've never ever liked Britney Spears, and i honestly can't unerstand her popularity. i understand that this was a huge hit, so i guess if this were the "most popular songs of the 90s" list, i'd be ok with it, but really, this song is horrible. it doesn't belong on ANY "best" list. ever.

06. Sir Mix-A-Lot "Baby Got Back" - ah yes, an ode to one of my favorite parts of the female anatomy. how can it get any better? guys, you know you've said "baby got back" about AT LEAST one girl since this song came out. this went beyond a song to a cultural phenom.

05. Madonna "Vogue" - i never really got the whole "Vogue" thing, but whatever. it' a good song, catchy, and before Madonna got really weird.

04. Whitney Houston "I Will Always Love You" - this song, in my mind, was basically the end of Whitney's era, and it was a hell of a way to go out. man, she seriously belts out the last few lines of this song, it's super fucking impressive.

03. Backstreet Boys "I Want It That Way" - these dudes had talent, that much i'll give them. it still doesn't make up for the fact that they were a manufactured group, and that will never sit well with me. i won't lie though, i know a few lines from this song.

02. U2 "One" - i've grown fond of saying that i like U2 "pre-sunglasses", but this is a super good song. in my opinion, at least with the songs on this list, this should have topped it.

01. Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - i had no doubt that this was going to be their number one song, and i totally understand why. this is amongst the very few songs, the very few moments in music history, that literally changed everything. the entire landscape of the musical world was flipped on it's head when this song came out. it really makes you wonder what could have become of Nirvana had things not gone down the way they did with Kurt Cobain. but hey, that's life.


so there it is. ridiculously long, ridiculously pointless, and just plain ridiculous. honestly, i'm still pissed over the fact that Color Me Badd is on the list but Boyz II Men isn't. can anyone tell me with a straight face that "I Wanna Sex You Up" is better than "I'll Make Love To You"? didn't think so.